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Top 10 Traffic Myths

June 14, 2013 by
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I have lived close to my place of work and the Melbourne CDB for close to four years, so I have not had to battle daily with the constant grind of traffic that many must face. However thanks to my insatiable lust for My Little Pony Dolls, I have had to take up some part time work as a delivery driver and in my time between deliveries I have come to know the pain that many drivers face on a daily basis.

So for those you have heard tales involving tricky traffic situations, pedestrian perils and fender fables, the following points may ring true:

  1. If you hit the pedestrian crossing button exactly 100 times, a magical bridge will open over the road.
  2. If you are waiting for traffic lights to change and rev your engine to hit over 80 decibels, the lights will become nervous thereby changing for your benefit.
  3. If you drive closely enough to the car in front of you, the car will give you a piggie back to where ever you are going.
  4. If you honk your horn for long enough at another car, the god of war, Ares, will be impressed with your display of rage and swallow up that car in a randomly appearing sink hole.
  5. If you drive fast enough on the freeway, a worm hole will open up and transport you to an alternative universe where time and mortality are redundant.
  6. If you stop and help an attractive woman with her flat tire or ineffective automobile, she will promptly have sex with you by the road side.
  7. If you are riding a bike and you ring your bell, everybody within a 10km radius will hear you and crowds will part like the Red Sea.
  8. If you make a three point turn into a nine point turn, you spend less time in hell ie. three times less.
  9. If you drive in someone’s blind spot for long enough, you will actually become invisible and greed will consume your soul while it becomes the property of Sauron.
  10. If you merge without indicating, you will assimilate into traffic like the blob and become a conglomerate, hell bound on taking over the world.

Play friendly and safely kids.

You may also want to have a peek at these reviews: EloquorJ.Cole,  Lovelace


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